That awkward moment when you realize while it’s you’re first time, it’s his 100th…
There are a multitude of reasons why women stay in abusive relationships. I found it hard to leave a violently abusive relationship, and was amazed by the people who stood by and watched, who never said a word or offered help. The people who when I finally left took his side, made excuses for him, or said things like - she must have provoked him.
Women stay for children, love, fear, because they’re unsure, because, they have no place else to go; money or lack of it; because he’ll change, and he doesn’t mean it and you believe that lie.
The thing is that once a woman does muster up the courage and dignity to leave, too often society judges her when it discovers she’s suffered this indignity. Much like some of the sports pundits I’ve heard babbling about this latest very publIc display of domestic violence, too often when a woman leaves, we re-victimize her when we say things like - she could have left, she should have left, which in so many cases is easier said than done.
Listening to talking heads on ESPN and other networks I’ve heard how insensitive we are to the needs of women in these situations. Yes, his franchise fired him and some have chastised his behavior, but too many of the comments focus on her and what she should have done differently as if she’s to blame for his bad behavior.Comments like that do more harm than good. They make women believe they’re options are limited, that people will judge them, that no one cares. Comments like that make it easier for folks to not say anything when they see that bruise under an eye or when they hear him call her stupid jokingly but with an underlying venom that seems out of context. So, Dear Sports Commentators and Talking Heads: Shut up, stick to sports, and shame on you.